Question Number: 15079

Character, Attitude and Control 3/30/2007

RE: Varsity High School

L H of Deer Park, WA USA asks...

Is it illegal for a player to shake the hand of a ref after a game? Every team in the league does this except my son's team. His coach has told them that it is against the rules and doesn't want them doing it. We have encouraged our son to shake hands in spite of what his coach, and now teammates, say to him. On one occassion, I asked the refs myself if this was illegal and they said no, it was not and in fact, was a show of respect and sportsmanship. This seems to be one more example of someone/something making it all the more difficult to bring up children in this world:( Please shed some light on this for me.
Thank you,
L H WA State USA

Answer provided by Referee Ben Mueller

I have heard of a few referees, that referee NFHS games, that refuse to shake players hands after games. This is very sad! I have seen 1 referee just shake the captains hands and refuse to shake the rest of the teams hands. Perhaps this coach ran into one of these referees and got that belief.

Answer provided by Referee Chuck Fleischer

You must try to educate this coach. He is WRONG and he is doing a disservice to The Game by telling his players this. Watch the televised matches from other countries, many times when a player is replaced by a substitute he will shake the referee's hand before he leaves.

The referee, in most cases, should not go out of his way to meet players as this invites confrontation but there are times when he has seen as especially talented player congratulations are in order. After a youth match I'll ask the captain [singular] to verify his sides score by signing the score card. At that point I shake his hand and thank him for the experience and wish him all the best.

This Game is the world's Game, too bad there is a coach in Washington who wants to prevent his players from participating fully. When I have refereed youth matches outside of America players always shook my hand before and after the match as did the trainers and some parents. It adds to the experience and is a most welcome change from usual treatment here...

Regards,

Answer provided by Referee Keith Contarino

Where this particular peice of nonsense comes from is beyond me. Of course it's not only all right to shake the ref's hand after a match, it is a good idea to as it is a show of respect and good spotsmanship and is good for the Game. Likewise, the coaches should also shake the referee's hand.

Answer provided by Referee Steve Montanino

Referees, like players, coaches, and spectators are all human beings. It is too often that this little fact is forgotten. One way that humans show respect to each other is to shake hands when greeting or parting. So, why on earth would this be any different between players and referees after games?

Sure, there may be some games where things get heated and you don't want to shake hands, and you certainly aren't required to do so. Yet, perhaps if players and coaches made a habit of shaking the referee's hand after the game the world be be a slightly better place within which to live.

To answer your question the National Federation of High Schools does not and likely will never prohibit interaction between referees and players. Moreover, the NFHS strongly supports learning life lessons through athletics. One thing I am certain of is that mutual respect and kindness is a life lesson that should always be taught.

Answer provided by Referee Debbie Hoelscher

No. There is nothing in the rules for high school, or in the laws of the game that forbids the showing a good sportmanship. What a ridiculous reiteration of the rules in high school soccer. I believe sportsmanship is a top priority in high school soccer. Curiously, this coach seems to have forgotten the simple act of maturity that goes with shaking the referees' hands, even though there might not be total agreement (or any agreement) with that team of referees' decisions. Shame on you coach, for leading by example a very poor showing of sportmenship.

The following questions were asked as a follow up to the above question...

See Question: 15095