Question Number: 13359

Character, Attitude and Control 7/17/2006

RE: Adult

Fernando Mahaluf of Las Vegas, NV USA asks...

What attitude should a referee have during a difficult game to ref. ?

Should it be passive and try to calm the players or be tough,aggressive and give yellow cards to the palyers that are disagreeing and arguing with every call the ref makes ?

Should the ref scream to the players ?

Should the ref engage into friendly conversations w/ the players during the game ??


Thank you

Answer provided by Referee Richard Dawson

Hi Fernando,
A positive attitude is the best one!
No referee can referee without a backbone, but whether you grind a match or flow with a match really reflects your personality in as much as your understanding the game, foul recognition, and psychological profiling as to who is likely to do what! A lot of emphasis on man management thinks we should council the players to sooth their bruised egos and fragile bodies. We can spare a few choice words in key situations but the soccer pitch is not a debating room. FORCEFUL, FIRM, FAIR and FINAL!

In the end it comes down to choice and freewill, the gift GOD granted everyone. Those that make good use of it simply lead a productive life if they can avoid the ones that do not!
A referee who can crack a smile and enjoys doing what he is privileged to do by accepting the responsibility of managing a game has a good start. If he shows effort, seeks ongoing training and works on interacting with those around him in a positive way, those around him bear some responsibility to react in kind! While we can mouth the platitudes of saying a good referee knows how and when to bend the laws a very good referee also knows when not to!

Soccer is a simple game meant to be fun and competitive within the concept of fairplay and follows a single set of laws that are EXACTLY the same worldwide.

The old adage of "Let them play!" works well ONLY if the players exercise a reasonable degree of control and follow fairplay guidelines when you step in to remind them. Stay close to play, let them know you are aware of the interactions, use advantage but DO something to those who caused you to consider it in the first place. Let nothing pass you by, if they are spiraling out of control, let it not fall upon you that you sit idly by. If I feel a match is spiralling in rapid descent mode, do not be without a kill switch, slow the match to a crawl to grab their attention, stating in effect IS this REALLY how you want to play??? Assuming you can speak the same language you can always pull a player aside or the captains and state either "We play fair or we can go home!" when the game threatens to spiral out of control.

As a referee you are mandated to be FAIR but no referee is perfect and those players who can not agree to disagree for the good of the game must accept whatever sanctions a referee deems appropriate to ENSURE safety and fairplay while respecting both the spirit and the laws of the game.

I highly recommend in not losing your cool and never engage in a screaming or angry exchange. You can be FORCEFUL, you must be FIRM, if you have integrity you will always be FAIR and even if you might be wrong your word is FINAL and cannot be endlessly disputed .

Attitude and tolerance levels for unacceptable levels of physical play translate into USB, SFP or VC and emotional rhetoric that could cross the borders of dissent or abuse translate into a match headed into the crapper UNLESS it is not permitted to flourish . You must read the critical moments in a match and cut to the heart each with purpose and clarity. Respect is earned not given just because you have a whistle. Players will look to you for strength but in reality they seek out weakness just as if not easier.

We can go into how good is your positional play, your mechanics, your level of fitness, foul recognition, your knowledge and interpretations of the law and their law 18 adaptation into a live match. There is no doubt the better YOU are equipment to handle confrontational situations the greater impact you can have in stamping it out when it rears up and tries to bite you! MY advice is bite back on it hard with the tools the law gives you, tempered with compassion for those wrapped up in emotional zeal, and listen to the little voice in your gut or head that TELLS you when enough is not enough and when it is ! Cheers

Answer provided by Referee Ben Mueller

Good question! I always tell captains...I react and adapt to what is around me. Yes, I have screamed at players and I have yelled so loudly that the entire complex heard me from miles away. Yes, I have had friendly conversations with players and even spectators during games (usually as players are substituting) Yes, I have exchanged jokes with players and have shared laughs. I have told players to quit acting like babies and have told players that if they cannot take a little bump, they should go back to U8. Of course, I always start out with a positive and friendly attitude. See there is not right or wrong way to referee or act during a game. I suggest refereeing according to your personality and not trying to mirror someone else. The main thing is that you are indeed enforcing consequences for players actions. I have a unique style in that I am always smiling and very calm during the game. Even in my U19 match 2 weeks ago after I gave 8 yellow cards and 2 red cards, I was smiling and enjoying myself as I was running up and down the field. I reacted to the players and enforced the consequences for their actions, but did not lose my cool. When you lose your cool, you might as well go home because it's over. Hope that helps!

Answer provided by Referee Chuck Fleischer

As a referee you should understand players establish a level of play they consider "Fair play". Understanding this allows you quite a bit of latitude in the decisions you must take. There are pitfalls in this method of match control and it is only for the most skilled of our profession. The referee who is able to allow two players to "draw blood" from each other when he sees they are enjoying themselves is a marvel to watch. The referee who can run by a distraught player and in a word or two is able to calm him is blessed with huge amounts of management skills. The referee watching two players "have at" each other and still see when one or the other seems "fed up" AND at that instant intervenes has tremendous foul recognition.

Those guys make it way difficult for the rest of us. We find it necessary to resort to nuclear weapons [cards], artillery [harsh and loud words] and other management skills. We do what is necessary at the moment and we learn from what we do. Our goal is to figure out how to be the first referee and not the rest of us. We keep trying different things until we find a level of control our personality can accept and the players on our match are comfortable with. If there is the one player, or team of players, who continually rubbish you then allowing some of them the pleasure of your discipline is fine.

If both teams are in your knickers then there's a problem and it could be you that day or the last couple referees both sides saw. Either way, that day, you need to get a handle on things. Talk, yell, moan, caution, send-off or, in the end, abandon the match if necessary to maintain good order and discipline. Before giving up the match you MUST stay with the play around the ball and be close enough to things so the players will react to YOU and not just the whistle. You should be there to tell them where the line is BEFORE you need to whistle -- the old play keeps going but at a slightly lower level of bump and crunch. They can't carp at you because their doing so will take them away from play, besides you are running with play. Do things that prevent them approaching you.

Write BEFORE showing a card. Do not stop to give a signal, keep moving. Try not taking a static position on a free kick, keep moving. When calling a player over to have a quiet word put your hand in a pocket as soon as he opens his mouth, you called him over to say something TO HIM, not the other way around. Little things, but taken together they keep players at a distance. Ideas??

Regards,